Mother’s Day Gardening

Amber, Bryson, and I bought some vegetables and flowers this morning. Amber planted pretty plants in the flower pots on the front porch, 8 hanging pots on the deck, and 5 other deck pots.

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Psychotic Bastardizations of Compassion

This is a “re-post” from the motorcycle guys in Lubbock that I keep an eye on. I agree with the author, but never thought about the subject like he did.
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Date: Sat, May 10 2008 5:56 pm
From: Tim Warren

This is what happened this weekend to my brother. He can get into his stories a bit.
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A sigh of relief follows the jingle of keys as I pull them from the ignition of my truck. “Finally, a quiet weekend at home”, I tell my wife after a typical busy day at work. Our cat meows from the garage as we exit the vehicle. I head for the mail as my wife goes to greet our eager and hungry animals.

A short stroll across the lawn of my corner lot in our San Antonio subdivision brings me to the sidewalk along my backyard fence. “Great”, I muttered in mild disappointment and frustration, “more trash in my yard”. Plastic cups, receipts, and all sorts of debris mysteriously appear there to become the subject of my near daily chore. I often wonder if the gentle breezes through these suburban streets bless me with the array of undesirable gift, or if passersby casually discard them so frequently. The latter notion came racing to my mind on the wheels of suspicion when on this particular day a full edition of today’s city newspaper caught my eye. In the grass against the fence, half way to the community mailbox laid the paper, stacked semi- neatly; almost placed into position. And, “oh look”, I said to myself, “a dead squirrel too”. Continue reading

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Guts or Balls

Guts or Balls…
There is a medical distinction.
We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:

GUTS – Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: ‘Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?’

BALLS – Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: You’re next, fatty.’

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome, since both ultimately result in death.

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Right or Left Brain?

If you see this lady turning in clockwise you are using your right brain. If you see it the other way, you are using left brain.
Some people do see both ways, but most people see it only one way.
See if you can make her go one way and then the other by shifting the brain’s current. Continue reading

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Ignore reality. There’s nothing you can do about it.

http://coolsig.com/ is a great place to check out.

Bumper sticker suggestions for me:

My other car is a beater.
My truck is not leaking, it’s marking its territory.
No laptop – Already Stolen.
YES this is my truck. NO I won’t help you move.
You go on ahead, I’ll see you at the next light.
Don’t follow me, I’m lost too…
Cover me. I’m changing lanes.
Don’t like my driving? Then quit watching me.
Even though this is a stupid bumper sticker, you’re squinting to read it.
I drive waaay too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I see dumb people
I would give you the finger but it’s up my nose.
Driver carries no cash: He’s married!

(thanks Josh)

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A little kitchen table experiment

I’m pretty sure this is a bit, but it is still funny.

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Smile

‘Aggghhhh! Someone dial 911, I’m being mauled by a troll!’

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Pretty Pictures

Originals here

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Pics of Bryson Outside on Deck

It is hard to explain how much joy Bryson is right now. He is so much fun! Amber snapped some good photos of him this afternoon while they were playing on the deck.

Link to the photo album.

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Bryson Dancing

Bryson likes my music. It even moves him to dance sometimes. I hope he learns to dance from someone cool, because if he tries to learn from either of his parents, people will surely laugh at him.

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