Here are some definitions to help you understand the current financial crisis:
CEO –Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO — Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to
mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance,
the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the
market keeps crashing.
BROKER — What my financial advisor has made me.
STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets
equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW– The movement your money makes as it disappears down the
toilet.
YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240
per share.
WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought
Yahoo @$240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Former investor who’s now locked up in a
nuthouse.
PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.
