CIGARETTE: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!
MARRIAGE: It’s an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
DIVORCE: Future Tense of Marriage
LECTURE: An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either
CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present
COMPROMISE: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece
TEARS: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!
DICTIONARY: A place where divorce comes before marriage
CONFERENCE ROOM: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on
ECSTASY: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before
CLASSIC: A book which people praise, but never read
SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight!
OFFICE: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life
YAWN: The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth
ETC: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
COMMITTEE: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together
EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their Mistakes
ATOM BOMB: An invention to bring an end to all inventions
PHILOSOPHER: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead
DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip
OPPORTUNIST: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river
OPTIMIST: A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway “SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!”
PESSIMIST: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY
MISER: A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!
FATHER: A banker provided by nature
CRIMINAL: A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught
BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early
POLITICIAN: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence Later
DOCTOR: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you
