Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as’HILLBILLIES.’
You must now refer to them as
APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS
And furthermore
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a ‘BABE’ or a ‘CHICK’ – She is a
‘BREASTED AMERICAN.’
2. She is not ‘EASY’ – She is
‘HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.’
3. She is not a ‘DUMB BLONDE’ – She is a
‘LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.’
4. She has not ‘BEEN AROUND’ – She is a
‘PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.’
5. She does not ‘NAG’ you – She becomes
‘VERBALLY REPETITIVE.’
6. She is not a ‘TWO-BIT HOOKER’ – She is a
‘LOW COST PROVIDER.’
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a ‘BEER GUT’ – He has developed a
‘LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.’
2. He is not a ‘BAD DANCER’ – He is
‘OVERLY CAUCASIAN.’
3. He does not ‘GET LOST ALL THE TIME’ – He
‘ INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.’
4. He is not ‘BALDING’ – He is in
‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION.’
5. He does not act like a ‘TOTAL ASS’ – He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.’
6. It’s not his ‘CRACK’ you see hanging out of his pants – It’s
‘REAR CLEAVAGE.’
