"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

Obama frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?" he asks.

"Oh, that's easy," says the Queen. "You just ask them to answer a simple riddle."

Just then Gordon Brown walks into the room.

"Gordon, your mother and father have a child," says the Queen. "It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"

Brown answers, "Oh. That would be … me, your majesty?"

"Yes! Very good," says the Queen.

Upon his return to Washington, D.C., Obama asks Joe Biden the same question. "Joe. Your mother and your father have a kid. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"

"I'm not sure," says Biden. "Let me get back to you on that one." He goes to his advisers and asks every one, but no one can give him an answer. Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Robert Gates' shoes in the next stall. Biden asks Gates, "Robert! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Gates responds, "That's easy. It's me!"

Biden smiles, and says, "Thanks!" Then, he goes back to speak with Obama.

"Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Robert Gates."

Obama gets up, stomps over to Biden, and angrily yells into his face, "No, you idiot! It's Gordon Brown!"

He asked, "What are those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie Clocks. Everyone on Earth has
a Lie Clock. Every time you tell a lie, the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man, "and whose clock is that?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his life."

"Where's President Obama's clock?" asked the man.

"Obama's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."