Obama Jokes

In my tireless attempt to fight the man, I provide a little humor:

Q: What’s the difference between Obama and Hitler?
A: Hitler wrote his own book.

Q: What’s another difference between Obama and Hitler?
A: Hitler got the Olympics to come to his country.

Q: What’s the main problem with Barack Obama jokes?
A: His followers don’t think they’re funny and everyone else doesn’t think they’re jokes.

Q: Why does Barack Obama oppose the Second Amendment?
A: It stands between him and the First.

Q: What’s the difference between Rahm Emanuel and a carp?
A: One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish.

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.

Q: What’s the difference between Obama’s cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One’s full of tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. The other is for prisoners.

Q: What’s the difference between a large pizza and the typical Obama backer?
A:The pizza can feed a family of four.

Q: If Pelosi and Obama were in a boat and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America!

Q: What do you call the US after four years of Obama and the Liberal congress?
A: An Obama-nation.

Q: Why doesn’t Obama pray?
A: It’s impossible to read the teleprompter with your eyes closed.

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5 Responses to Obama Jokes

  1. One more:
    KFC just announced an addition to their chicken dinners.It's called the Obama Cabinet Bucket.It consists of nothing but left wings and assholes

  2. A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter
    at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

    He asked, "What are those clocks?"

    St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie Clocks. Everyone on Earth has
    a Lie Clock. Every time you tell a lie, the hands on your clock will move."

    "Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

    "That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

    "Incredible," said the man, "and whose clock is that?"

    St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his life."

    "Where's President Obama's clock?" asked the man.

    "Obama's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

  3. As an American I am not so shocked that Obama was given the Nobel Peace Prize without any accomplishments to his name, but that America gave him the White House based on the same credentials.

  4. Barack Obama meets with the Queen of England. He asks her, "How do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"

    "Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

    Obama frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?" he asks.

    "Oh, that's easy," says the Queen. "You just ask them to answer a simple riddle."

    Just then Gordon Brown walks into the room.

    "Gordon, your mother and father have a child," says the Queen. "It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"

    Brown answers, "Oh. That would be … me, your majesty?"

    "Yes! Very good," says the Queen.

    Upon his return to Washington, D.C., Obama asks Joe Biden the same question. "Joe. Your mother and your father have a kid. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"

    "I'm not sure," says Biden. "Let me get back to you on that one." He goes to his advisers and asks every one, but no one can give him an answer. Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Robert Gates' shoes in the next stall. Biden asks Gates, "Robert! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

    Gates responds, "That's easy. It's me!"

    Biden smiles, and says, "Thanks!" Then, he goes back to speak with Obama.

    "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Robert Gates."

    Obama gets up, stomps over to Biden, and angrily yells into his face, "No, you idiot! It's Gordon Brown!"

  5. David says:

    Q: How do you starve an Obama supporter?
    A: Hide his food stamps under his work boots.

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